The Hedonic Treadmill

I'd like you to think about the last time you really wanted something. Perhaps it was a new phone, some shoes, or a university acceptance. The anticipation was probably intense. I bet you told yourself that once you got it, you would be so much happier. And maybe you were, for a while. But then you adapted. The novelty wore off, and that high faded back to where you originally started.

This isn't just about material things. The same pattern happens with relationships, achievements, and life changes. You get the promotion, move to the dream city, or start dating someone wonderful. There's an initial boost in happiness, but within months you're back to feeling roughly the same as before.

Psychologists call this "hedonic adaptation" - our tendency to quickly return to a relatively stable level of happiness despite major positive or negative events. It's why lottery winners aren't significantly happier than everyone else a year after winning, and why people who become disabled often report similar life satisfaction levels to the general population after adjusting.

Why do our brains work this way?

This adaptation isn't a flaw in how our minds work; it's actually a survival mechanism that helped our ancestors. When good or bad things happened, they needed to return to a neutral state to keep making smart decisions. If our ancestors stayed euphoric after finding food, they might have become careless about future threats. If they remained devastated after losing something, they couldn't focus on survival tasks.

Our brains are essentially prediction machines, constantly comparing current experiences to what we expect. When something exceeds our expectations, we feel good. But then our expectations adjust upward to match our new reality. What once felt amazing becomes the new normal, and we need something even better to feel that same boost again.

This is why your first smartphone felt revolutionary, but now you barely notice having the internet in your pocket. It's why a £50,000 salary feels life-changing when you've been earning £25,000, but once you're used to it, you start thinking about £75,000. The treadmill keeps moving, and we keep running to stay in the same emotional place.

The modern trap

Understanding the hedonic treadmill is particularly important in our current world. We're surrounded by messages telling us that happiness comes from the next purchase, achievement, or life milestone. Social media constantly shows us people who seem happier because they have something we don't. Advertising specifically targets our belief that external things will make us feel better.

But here's the thing: the people selling you products and experiences know about hedonic adaptation too. They just don't want you to think about it. If everyone truly understood that the new car wouldn't make them lastingly happier, entire industries would collapse overnight.

This creates a strange situation where we keep pursuing things that we know, deep down, won't deliver lasting satisfaction. We've all experienced the treadmill before, yet we convince ourselves that this time will be different. "Maybe the last few things didn't work, but this promotion/relationship/purchase definitely will."

So... what actually matters?

Once you understand how the hedonic treadmill works, it completely shifts how you think about life. You can still pursue goals and enjoy nice things, but you won't expect them to permanently transform how happy you are.

Research has identified several factors that seem to resist hedonic adaptation better than others. These tend to involve ongoing processes rather than one-time achievements, and they often connect us to something larger than ourselves.

How to step off the treadmill

So how do you step off the treadmill? The key is recognising that lasting satisfaction comes from ongoing processes rather than one-time achievements. Here are strategies that research and experience have shown to be effective:

Research shows we adapt less to experiences than to material possessions. That trip, concert, or deep conversation tends to provide lasting satisfaction because experiences become part of who we are in ways that objects cannot. Experiences also improve with time - we remember them fondly, share stories about them, and they connect us to other people.

The people around you are one of the few things that consistently make people happier long-term. Quality relationships don't lose their appeal the way new purchases do. They actually tend to get better with time and attention. The Harvard Study of Adult Development, which has followed people for over 80 years, found that good relationships are the strongest predictor of life satisfaction.

Instead of only caring about outcomes, learn to appreciate the journey. The struggle, the growth, the small daily improvements. These matter more than reaching any particular destination. People who focus on personal growth and learning report higher life satisfaction even when their external circumstances don't change much.

Occasionally choosing less comfort helps you appreciate what you have. Take cold showers, walk instead of driving, or sleep on the floor occasionally. This breaks the cycle of constantly needing more comfort to feel good and helps reset your baseline expectations.

Pay attention to everyday pleasures you normally take for granted. The taste of your morning coffee, the feeling of clean sheets, a friend's laugh. Savouring - deliberately focusing on positive experiences as they happen - can significantly increase their impact on your mood.

The paradox of trying

Here's something interesting: the more desperately you chase happiness, the more it tends to slip away. This is because happiness is often a byproduct of other activities rather than a direct goal. When you're fully engaged in something meaningful - whether it's work, relationships, or a hobby - happiness tends to emerge naturally.

This doesn't mean you should never pursue things that make you happy. It means understanding that the pursuit itself might be more satisfying than the achievement. The anticipation of a holiday often brings more joy than the holiday itself. The process of working towards a goal can be more fulfilling than reaching it.

Living with the treadmill

The hedonic treadmill isn't necessarily a problem to be solved. It's a feature of how our minds work, and it has both benefits and drawbacks. The key is understanding it well enough to make conscious choices about when to engage with it and when to step back.

You don't have to become a monk and reject all material pleasures. You can still enjoy new things, pursue goals, and celebrate achievements. The difference is doing so with realistic expectations. Enjoy the new car, but don't expect it to transform your life. Celebrate the promotion, but know that the glow will fade and that's perfectly normal.

Some practical ways to live well with this knowledge:

Instead of just aiming to "get promoted," also focus on "learning something new each week" or "building better relationships with colleagues." Process goals give you ongoing satisfaction rather than just one moment of achievement.

Just as you budget money, be thoughtful about where you spend your hedonic energy. If you know that expensive purchases provide only temporary boosts, maybe spend less on stuff and more on experiences or relationships.

Perfectionism often stems from believing that getting everything exactly right will make us permanently happier. Understanding hedonic adaptation can help you recognise when something is good enough and save your energy for what really matters.